Bethel - Filled with longing - and dominated by fear

The hinges that Sabrina Schoolmann works with in the Bernhard Mosberg workshop

Sabrina Schoolmann sits at her workstation in the Bernhard Mosberg workshop in Bielefeld-Bethel with her cap pulled down over her face and her eyes lowered. A colleague brings her a box of hinges. Sabrina Schoolmann nods gratefully, but avoids eye contact - not because she doesn't feel comfortable, on the contrary: the 36-year-old only moved to the workshop a few weeks ago. "I like it here. It's nice and quiet," she says. The other employees are very friendly and helpful. Nevertheless, she finds it difficult to socialise with them. Sabrina Schoolmann is extremely shy. She always has been. Back at special school, she envied the other children who played together so easily. “I always felt insecure everywhere.” 

The only exception is her home. That is her refuge. Sabrina Schoolmann lives with her mother and brother in Verl, about 15 kilometers south of Bielefeld. “My brother supports me in everyday life,” she says, describing their close bond. Her best friends are called “Annabelle,” “Lina,” “Maja,” and “Luna.” They can only bark, but they listen. “I can confide in my dogs about anything. They understand when I'm not feeling well. Then I cuddle with them, and I feel better right away.” She loves adventure movies and enjoys immersing herself in other worlds.

 

 

Sabrina Schoolmann at work in the workshop
"I like it here. It's nice and quiet."
Sabrina Schoolmann, employee at the Bernhard-Mosberg-workshop

Sabrina Schoolmann used to travel to work independently on public transport. But she started having more and more psychogenic seizures. "It was very unpleasant because the other passengers would stare at me. An ambulance then took me to hospital," she recalls. These attacks are triggered by stress, restlessness and noise. "When I realise that a seizure is coming, I sit down quickly because otherwise my legs will buckle and I'll fall," she explains. She briefly loses consciousness and is no longer responsive. "These seizures can happen several times a week." She has suffered from them since she was a teenager. Sometimes it calms her down to listen to music or radio plays. "I used to crawl on the floor a lot when I realised I was getting restless, but I can't do that any more with my knee problems."

Sabrina Schoolmann is undergoing psychiatric treatment at the Medical Centre for Adults with Disabilities (MZEB) at Mara Hospital in Bielefeld-Bethel. "The conversations with psychologists are good for me, but they're exhausting because you also talk about unpleasant things and start brooding afterwards." She takes medication for the seizures. Since moving to the Bernhard Mosberg workshop, the seizures have become less frequent. "I enjoy going to work regularly again, which wasn't always the case," says the proWerk employee, looking back. In the previous workshop in another part of Bielefeld, it was more restless and louder. She mainly packed products into bags there; she likes the assembly work at her new workplace much better. "I prefer doing tasks where I already have a routine. It always takes me a while to familiarise myself with new jobs," she admits.

"I'm happy that I'm now working in a workshop in Bethel. I also went to vocational college here and have fond memories of that time." She also has a friend living in a residential home nearby who she sometimes visits after work. She likes the local life, even if she only observes it as a spectator. Sabrina Schoolmann's greatest wish is to visit disco no. 7 at the Neue Schmiede cultural and leisure centre. "I would love to go dancing. But I don't dare. I feel insecure around lots of people and I'm afraid of the way they look at me." But she doesn't want to give up on her dream just yet. "Maybe one day I'll pluck up all my courage and go," she says confidently.

Text: Christina Heitkämper | Picture: Matthias Cremer

This story simply told

Sabrina Schoolmann works at the Bernhard Mosberg workshop in Bethel. She feels at home there, but finds it difficult to socialise with other colleagues because she is shy. Her greatest wish is to go to a disco and dance one day. Nevertheless, she hopes to find the courage to do so one day.

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